By: Martin Cisneros
I'm addressing this to those of you who are so in love with someone that you feel sorta vulnerable and helpless at every thought of them. Perhaps you're in that phase where you're not even sure if there's genuine permission to say anything about it, 'cause you're not even sure if there's enough mutual interest to chance it. Perhaps when you talk with them, you're all apologetic for every near spilling of the biggest secret of your heart at the present moment.
You'll never go wrong using that heart intoxication as motivation and strength to pray for them. I didn't say anything about praying for yourself, that they'd ever love you back. I'm talking about your prayers for them being more numerous than anything else. Pray the Word of God over their spirit, soul, body, finances, and social life.
Pray for them that they'd be totally delivered of you by any necessary means, if your intoxication for them exceeds all sound reasoning and you're aware of anything about yourself in the least that wouldn't be the best possible situation for them to be involved with. Fast and pray for this one! This is the one where you'll best find out if you're genuinely falling in love with them. Your self sacrificial - just wanting what's 100% best for them, even if that's not [ever] you. This one will really make you reach for the kleenex, if you're enough man/woman of God to really be praying this fervently for them. You'll probably really draw Father God's heart into what you're up to with this one, to where if there's the least little possible way...
Pray for them more fervently than Moses ever prays for Israel; more fervently than Christ ever prays for the Church.
Pray selfLESSly until God either relieves you of this burst of love that's more than anything you've ever experienced in your life. Deliverance will either come for your own soul, or your love will be so refined that it'll either be irresistable, or you'll be free to love this person without pain if your prayers push them into other arms that God has for them.
However it works out, or floats in a "to be continued" mode, don't run from God and from the Word when just the mention or slightest thought of this person makes your knees go weak 'cause they're someone special to you. Share your newfound love for this person with God. He's loved them all of this time, before you even knew they existed. Let Him purify your heart and your motives.
And, you never know. One of these days, "maybe." But in the meantime, you've saved your own soul.
I wish I could offer you more guarantees than that, but I can't. People are going to do whatever they're going to do, and many times without the best, purest, or most informed of motives and reasoning. Let God be the One Who plays "cupid." The Creator of gold, diamonds, emeralds, and rubies Who Created all of that for you isn't about to bring you trash in His selection of the perfect companion for you.
I understand these kind of feelings. Trust me. I know the sense of utter helplessness. Oh, I understand, and wish that I had liberty to say more than this at the present time!1 And I also know that you'd better stick to the above ways of walking it out by faith - keeping absolutely every care cast on the Lord!!
Here's a challenge for those of you that think that you're all of that in the spirit - the challenge of your lives, if you want a relationship with genuine life in it: intermix all of the good stuff about yourself in conversations and/or correspondence with them with every reason you can think of in the world why this person should look elsewhere! When you can really go there with that much honesty and transparency, that's when you know that you're enough of a person and have enough to offer as a person, that they know on a certain level - have to know - that on a certain level, they're completely crazy if they leave it all on the table and go the other way. Be the person of character, honor, and transparency to where if the love of your life winds up in other arms anyway, the day will come when they'll know they've got the package that they've got 'cause when God offered better, they turned it down.
I'm not saying that that's easy. Everybody else is trying to refine their pickup lines! But a conversation that's as much about who you're not as it is about who you are will be unforgettable 'cause even if every person on earth read this, that I've written today, there's not but a hundred millionth of a percent of people that'll ever have the audacity to be this nude with another person.
If they wind up liking you in return, when you're being less than forthcoming, it's all junk that they're going to find out about anyway. Why withhold it, while there's the least bit of personal investment in the relationship that there will ever be? Don't just be honest, but be forthcoming about yourself. You'll blow their minds, even if they turn it down 'cause at some point in their lives that's what they've either always wanted or what they'll some day wish that they had after they've married for looks, money, reputation, career similarities, and everything else that's no guaranty in the emotional, fidelity, and communication departments.
I want to address a paragraph of this to those that know beyond a shadow of doubt that [the unchanging] Jesus Christ is inside of them; those who've passed the test thus far. Do you think that you're quite a bit past a crush and into genuine "head over heels" love with them? If you hear any incling that this person has found another relationship - any incling - you be the happiest person for them; be their biggest cheerleader! Yeah, your flesh will try to squirm, but so what? Look them in the eye all presumptuous in asking if they've found someone special with the biggest smile and most hopeful demeaner about you. And don't even give them time to answer before you start the congratulations! In other words, you act on all of the above that I've written you thus far that you've supposedly been doing in secret. Yeah, the deeper the love - at first - the deeper the mortification will be that you'll feel at even the remotest hint that they're with someone else now. But, so what? Tell them how much you love them and be on the presumptuous side that you couldn't be happier for them, before they can even let you know that it's just a friend or whatever. Push yourself out of the boat. If Christ is genuinely and truly in you, then part of you has already walked on the water before and told storms and emotions to "cool it" countless times to save the day! ...Unless of course, you've failed the test regarding Christ being in you...
One of these days, even if you run off a thousand of 'em, you're going to find someone that's going to be so excited by your forthcomingness, that they're going to reciprocate with everything that they've got. And when that happens, something special has genuinely just begun 'cause every basis for fear in the relationship has been mutually cast out and the curse has been broken.
Other areas that I'd love to meddle with, but it was only my intent to deal with the crush phase in this article.