By: Martin Cisneros
Being a husband means to be entrusted, that one will always carefully, affectionately hold a woman as a priority over all others; to defend, nurture, embrace, strengthen, and encourage until death do us part.
Being a husband does not mean foreseeing the unforeseeable and always keeping everything under control. Being a husband does not mean choosing someone else's actions or hindering their right to grow. Being a husband doesn't mean always having everything worked out in advance.
Being a husband means that there's a wife that you're always going to be there for, to the exclusion of all others. It means loving, helping, and discovering together. It means holding, loving, trusting, and believing the best of that special woman that God has given to you alone.
It means defending your vows at absolutely all costs. And yes, it means hating those who hate your vows. After all, it's a blood covenant. Covenant means Covenant - not living arrangement, convenience, or revolving doors like with Pagans and Talmudists. It means love, honor, and hold on at all costs. It means having no time for those who don't understand, respect, and cherish your relationship with your wife.
Someone asked on facebook: "A man says he's not in love with his wife, he doesn't like her and never loved her, he married her because they had a daughter and he wanted to be there for the child. After the second child he told her he didn't want her, but she had third child which infuriated him more. Now he says he's miserable, feels trapped in a loveless marriage and is begging God to change his heart but it's not working? What should he do?" -- end of quote.
Get a baby sitter and make time for the wife until he falls in love with her. Hopefully something about her interested him other than knowing he could hit a homerun, sexually, when that got started. If he married her, his word to her that they'd always be together should be as unbreakable as God's New Covenant to that effect. Has he ever been annoyed by a different relative and they therefore ceased to be his relative(s)? Then why should an annoying wife be any different?
Wives by nature are deeply, deeply annoying until they've embraced His calling to be daughters of Sarah. By nature they can't tell the truth 'cause no truth dwells in them UNTIL they begin to have the humility of Sarah. But is he a submissive Isaac to his Father for whom Rebekkah should supernaturally come forth into his life? Or is he Abimelech trying to take what he thinks he can take, to which God will always have the heart ravishing news "you're a dead man!!" Under the New Covenant of grace, God can bring Rachel out of an ugly Leah. But has he paid his 14yr dues to the Written Word to have her?
She's his wife and he's gotta find ways of making that fun, since if he's a man of honor, his own walking out of that will be over his own dead body. Doesn't matter why he married her. The marriage was to her, not to the child. He could have fought for custody rights or done a dozen other things OTHER THAN having married her. When he married her, it was understood that nothing could ever tear them apart, not the emotions of either of them, not anything.
Only a clear Word of the Lord spoken to him and preferably thru him as well as to him should annul that, if his unhappiness is about her abusiveness to him or her cheating on him and he's minding his manners and treating her like a lady and like she's the only woman in the world to him. God has the right to annul it if He didn't put them together and to get both of them with who in His estimation they belong with, but I do not hear anything in what you've described to indicate to me that he's fully submitted to Him and is loving her as Christ loves the Church.
Until he's passing the test of being Jesus Christ to her, according to Ephesians 5, Song of Solomon, 1Peter 3 in the sense of Abraham having been YHVH to Sarah, etc., then why should God promote him out of that situation since he's not being faithful with his whole being to that situation and is allowing his emotions to probably torment both himself and her? No marriage begins anyway until the man's fasted 40 days for her 'cause the New Testament teaches that to begin a marriage is like Jesus Christ beginning His ministry.
Water into wine and rocks into buttermilk buscuits is really the same identical act, but the motivation had to be right and not self centered for Lord Jesus to be able to do it. All 3 temptations were so that He'd never miss another meal in His life by misusing the gifts of God in His life, by making Himself a local celebrity, and by making Himself the next Alexander the Great via the arm of the flesh and the devil. Is this guy you've mentioned hungering and thirsting for righteousness or for self gratification? One will bring forth new wine, while the other will have him turn into a leper.
Is his blood the blood of rebellious bulls and goats, or is he her Passover lamb that's getting her out of Egypt? When she reads thru the 4 Gospels, is her heart warmed that that's who she's married to in that man beside her? Yeah, there's a lot to talk about and for her to look at in whether she's Herod's daughter that's just wanting the head of God's anointed on a silver platter for herself, but she's not wanting to part with her life of excess, or whether she's one of Philip's daughters, a Martha, or a Mary. Yeah, a man can only be so much as foundation of the home. If she's walls and roof that easily comes apart with the storms of life, then Christ Jesus Himself would be in a nightmare in such a marriage.
Marriage is all about a man dying on a Cross. No man that will not die on the Cross for her can reign with her, or have a rushing mighty wind hit her that fills her with something from another world that will make her into an honorable wife worth having, that tells him absolutely everything and obeys his doctrine all of the days of her life. If he's not experiencing transformation into Melchezedec, is it any wonder that New Jerusalem, in Song of Solomon, isn't crowning him with her, since according to Proverbs a man's crown is his wife? She will not rest comfortably on his head while there's still all kinds of flesh in him raging against bringing every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
Ruth only rightfully belongs to Boaz. He'll be married to Hagar all of his life if he will not become Jesus Christ as Paul did in Galatians and in Philippians where in chapter 2, verse 5 he says to let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus and then closes the epistle with let this mind be in you which is in me (Philippians 4:9). Says twice in 1Corinthians to imitate him as he imitates Jesus Christ (4:16; 11:1). That's the pattern of a husband towards his wife. If his flesh isn't broken for her sin, then why is she going to want to eat it? Why should she want to drink his blood if it is not the blood of her New Covenant marriage of righteousness, but he's only bringing her into an Old Covenant of condemnation?